Helpless

I cannot seem to fight it.

I am against it, and I find it difficult for me to cope with it.

A petty substance, I may seem ridiculous, but I cannot help it.

I am simply helpless to the fact that I cannot help the way I feel.

In the beginning, I did not press for any chances, nor do I now.

Yet here we stand on water, not common ground.

Water can be... rough.

The Core

As much as I find myself wrapped up in love with him, the more I figure out how difficult it becomes.  Patience is not a virtue easily kept in this fast-paced world.  I

I do not know how to make things better for him, as much as I would desire to.  I do not know how to overcome my own issues.  It's kinda odd.

Parents, as much as I love them, are idiots by the way.

Hypocrite Darling, You Live

Child, you claim it's wrong

Well.. Why did you do it so quick?

Your ribs 

Are broken

Exposing your lungs

Your throat is awoken

And you're left with a raspy tongue

Slick sick hypocrite.

Betty Crocker Came Back

Betty Crocker came back into my life.

Sometimes, these flights of scares are needed. They may even be seen to rejuvenate what is there, and give a new sense, a new tingling of hope. Or, it may be consequential, creating a pessimistic blur of what used to be. I can't tell you which one it may be, but that I'm hoping it's the first one I stated.  

I hate that I've become this monster. I raise my hands, stare at my fingers and trace the outlines of every flaw, every aspect that needs help.  I know what needs work, and I realize I'm the only one to fix it. I'm sorry that I'm easily influenced. I'm sorry I can't make up my own decisions. I end up hurting myself in the end.

I've become so accustomed to someone telling me what's right and what's wrong; I've lost my common ground on common sense.  I need to start helping myself.

Simple, Starving To Be Safe

Honestly, if Kenny Choi asked me to marry him, I'd probably jump to it right away, veil and all.

I wish I had everything, intelligence and all.

Yet I lack it darling. 

I'm homesick. I'm slipping to hold on something real.

I don't know, it's getting worse.

Give me a break, give me a break!

Give me a piece of that KIT KAT BAR!

Oh man. Those bars were amazing.  I miss candy, I miss being able to buy whatever I want and having Daddy and Mommy right there. Oh well. I am a Daddy's girl after all.

I am sick of school. I'm tired all the time and I'm beginning to snap at people. Not cool. Four classes is killing my social life. WHY?! WHAT THE DOG?!  Or actually.. Hah. There's another reason why, and that's the most terrible reason ever. BACK OFF BETTY CROCKER, get out of my pants.  I need my space, my time, I need  balance.

I'm losing my mind!

Hahaha. 

I'm gonna fix my life again baby, all right.

Pass me the Skittles next if you please,

cause I think my Rainbow finally came back.

Defunked! Defizzled!

There's a part of me that wishes I wasn't the way I was:

simply and utterly, defunkified to be "jealous."

God, I've reached an all-time low.  And it's the stupidest kinda jealousy too.

It's like saying I'm jealous that you hang out and eat peanut butter all day. Gee, let me join please? Hahah. Now I'm losing my mind as I procrastinate away.

We fight a lot.  I've become like this stupid person I know: bipolar. I've become bipolar. Angry one hour, happy the next. But with good reason. Anger builds up, talk/argument, then it goes on away and I'm chill again.

I wish it wasn't so, wish I had patience, essence of purity. 

I wish I let things flow.

I want to visit a temple soon.