O-genki desu ka?

So update time before I continue on with my everlasting and eternal homework of doom!  I dropped my management 5 class. It's so kicking my butt right now. So why'd I drop management?  

Here's why:  The class is a 3 hr class, 9AM to 11PM Monday through Friday and get this, we get a week's worth of work/learning in ONE DAY.  Oh. And we have to know 3 alphabets. HAHAHAH, I'm not kidding you.  This crap is so hard; I literally am studying more often and the only REAL rest time is when I'm lounging by the pool trying to get darker or I'm swimming like a fish.

Yes, as of now, and probably for most of my summer, it'll be PAINFUL.  But, at least when I do go out, it's gonna be worth it... -___- 

InsomniManiac!

I can't sleep.  Why I can't sleep is the true question seeing as I have 9 AM class tomorrow rill.. 4 PM (it's 2 classes).  Egads man. No sleep. No sleep. I need to wake up early tomorrow. What in the world do I do?

Two Whiffs & Into the Rabbit Hole

I started this summer with the same old thing; a fight with my parents.  That's hardly new.  What was new was how much time I dedicated to my sisters.  I never imagined that they were growing up so quickly until this past week.  The little fart is already going to WMMS this fall and the other is going to be a junior, looking for new colleges and what not.  Isn't that insane?  My sisters growing up.

My little sister is hilarious. Half of the time, she doesn't seem to realize what she's saying.  I told her, "Rachelle you need to try black people's food!"  Her response, "I eat french fries! That's black people food!"  I was like what in the world...  She explained, "I see black people eating french fries at McDonalds!"  GOOD LORD!  HAHAHAHA  I almost died laughing.  

Oh Janelle.  I'll leave it at that. She's right next to me, oblivious that I'm writing about stuff since she's going through her yearbook. Oh. Now she's reading it. Damn her. Hahah, perhaps another time I'll write about her.

Oh, in addition to this, fiasco I had with my parents, I was able to pull myself together even after going a little crazy... Ha, oh man.  Time to shower. I'm leaving for SoCal again.

Karma Please Now

I found myself happy these past few days ever since the break up. I went to parties, chatted up with people... I was finally, finally having a good time being myself.  I kept going [I mean being happy, not partying] everyday, not thinking too much about the break up.  I was, myself again.

But somehow this evening I found myself ranting to my roommate about my feelings when I found out he was already seeing someone.  It hasn't even been two weeks.  Instantaneously, I felt cheap.  I held it in the whole time when I was with my friends and everything spilled.

He never loved me.

Oh how the bitter truth just makes most of us bitter. It's not even the fact that he's seeing another girl, it's the fact that I tried for so long... I did everything I could, spent most of my money on him. I never got anything back.  He only came during the night, so what was I but some cheap... whatever. Where was the love?  He would hang out with other girls all the time and I didn't really ever complain even if it bugged me sometimes.  Oh, how he'd text them back and call them right away... when there'd be days when I wouldn't even hear from him.  

All I had ever asked for was to be loved.

All I had ever asked for was... for one phone call, or a text a day... Not even to hang out every single day. Oh God, if I was like that... Kill me.

All I really wanted was for him to hang out with me... Like, real legit valuable time.  

But I saw nothing.

And now I struggle.