Rag Doll Changes

When it's all out, I suppose I feel better.  I do want to see change, progression if you prefer.  We'll see how far it goes, how far the sailboat is until it will actually reach the shore.

I sometimes ask myself how the hell did I ever get into these situations.  I never understood what I did do, what I did wrong, but generally how did I end up where I am.  It's not so much that they're sticky, but that they just seem to amaze me.  I prefer not getting into these messes as much as possible, but they come.  Is it the people I meet? Or is it the environment?  Is it me?

I don't see it as drama, or if you prefer to call it drama... "Unnecessary drama."  Some things we end up in are simply lessons, even if it's just bull shit.  I guess in a sense I may even learn more about a person through anything they throw at me.  I may even learn something more, something about myself I wasn't able to see previously.  I'm no rag doll, a passerby to my own life without having my input.  I'm indeed no one's rag doll.

I see now I must make changes and it won't be too bad.  It's just a matter of getting out of this cage that's been set up by the lion and monster tamers.  I realize, it's now my decision to step out.